Look Look!! Botanical Gelee Landed In My Lap

Thank you @susanbrownsbaby for gifting us the Botanical Gelee! It works like a charm for Caroline and MY eczema. Since it works well for skin conditions, I often use it on dry patches in her scalp.

SBB always offers FREE SHIPPING. All products can be purchased at http://www.susanbrownsbaby.com. Enter coupon code LRedd20 for a 20% to buy.

From SAHM to Working Mom

Baby Wipes and Breast Milk is no longer a SAHM. How fascinating right? After nine months of being with my Sweet Caroline, I decided to go back to working in retail management for a new, organic, children’s clothing brand. I can say one thing. Being a working mom and a SAHM has its ups and downs equally.

Both Caroline and I are experiencing the whole separation anxiety thing, which I mentioned in a previous post. It’s been harder on her than it has been on me. She started daycare this week. While she is doing “okay” she’s not eating. Which stresses me out. Mainly because I don’t want her to starve during the day and I’m also tired. When she doesn’t eat, she wants to nurse all night.

God bless her daycare owner, Ashley. She’s been dealing with Caroline personally, versus letting others deal with her. She’s a mom of five so she knows how it is when children have to get used to seeing and experiencing new faces and environments. She’s been a great help with answering questions and helping Caroline adapt.

To all the moms deciding to return to work, it’s a lot. It’s harder for the first couple of weeks but, it will get better. They will adjust. You will adjust. Find the right daycare or nanny is the hardest part. You want to make sure your child is in good hands. Having help at home is a plus. Having a schedule and structure helps.

I tell you one thing, I have a newfound respect for working moms. It’s always been there but the level of respect is now at 100,000. Whether you have a partner or not, the work utimately falls back on you. Nothing against the partners at all. It just usually happens. Caroline prefers me over daddy everyday. But don’t fret, it’s going to work out and get better.

Separation Anxiety Is The Worst

I’m writing this post whilst on my morning commute into work.

Yes, mama has a job now. There will be more gloating about be being a stay at home mom anymore. Well, unless I find a job that allows me to do so.

Separation anxiety. It is one of the absolute worst things to experience as a mom, outside of PPD that is. Having to leave your child in the hands of someone else is nerve wrecking. Having to leave your child period is just down right sad.

I started a new job yesterday. One my way into work, I sat in the backseat while daddy drove. I stroked her hand. Played patty cake and peekaboo until she fell asleep. Once we made it, I blew kisses to my sleeping child because I didn’t want to wake her. Before I made it to the door of my job, I sat down and texted Emma and daddy and then I cried. I felt heartbroken.

People experience separation anxiety for different reasons. It’s not the worst thing in the world to experience and it does get better. You just have to work through it.



Balding Past Six Months?

This is more of a question that needs answers post.

Caroline was born with luxurious hair. She definitely gets that from her dad’s side because I was born bald and barely grew hair throughout my entire life. Anyway, she didn’t experience the balding between 3-6 months like most infants. She didn’t start experiencing it until month seven.

I try not to stress her hair. I usually let her wear it out unless we have to go somewhere nice. I shampoo and condition it once a week. I moisturize it and keep her scalp clean because she has atopic dermatitis. Unfortunately, she’s developing a bald spot in the back and it’s thinning at the top.

Has anyone ever experienced this with their kid?

30, Flirty, and Thriving

I turned 33 on Jan 29th. As I sat there that morning and reflected back on my 11 years of being an “adult”, I started mentally taking notes of what I learned throughout the years.

  1. Some friendships don’t last a lifetime.
  2. Your best friendships come to you between your late 20s and 30s.
  3. Stop comparing your life to others.
  4. Things will happen on Gods timing only.
  5. Consider yourself lucky if you find and marry your soulmate.
  6. Have fun in your 20s because it prepares you for the real world.
  7. Or work hard in your 20s and relax in your 30s.
  8. Invest. Invest. Invest. Doesn’t matter if it’s in stocks and mutual funds or real estate. Get your money up. Create generational wealth.
  9. Believe in a higher power. Hell believe in something period. We’re here for a reason. We all serve a purpose.
  10. Learn how to say and mean NO.
  11. Self care matters.
  12. Your health matters. Pap smears, breast exams, full physicals, exercise etc. They matter. Know what’s going on in your body.
  13. It’s okay to take a step back from school, work, etc to get yourself together.
  14. Mental health matters. See a therapist. Doesn’t matter if it’s big or small. Find someone to talk to.
  15. Don’t let your family talk you into getting married or having kids if you don’t want to. It’s not for everybody.
  16. Tired of that job? Make a career change.
  17. Buy good shit. I have china plates and bowls sitting in my cabinets right now. I bought it because I could afford it.
  18. Tell the people in your lives that you love and appreciate them. You never know if and when you’ll lose them.
  19. Get a hobby. Don’t be those women who scroll on Instagram and FB for hours. Do something with your spare time. Learn a trade. Learn how to play an instrument. Learn a foreign language. Kickboxing. Something.
  20. Go out on dates. Have sex. Lots of sex. Protect yourself of course. But have lots of sex.
  21. Dress up and go somewhere fancy a few times a year.
  22. Travel domestically. And I’m not talking about Miami. I’m talking about Yellowstone, Redwoods, Death Valley, deserts of New Mexico, Lake Tahoe, etc. Learn the USA then travel abroad.
  23. Stop and smell the roses. Meaning take some time and do absolutely nothing.
  24. They say men are trash. Well so are women. Bite me if you disagree.
  25. Self love is necessary. Your hair, your skin, your imperfections. Love that shit.
  26. Speak up for yourself and others.
  27. Always be nice to the people you meet. You never know when you’ll need them.
  28. Experience heartbreak.
  29. Always be smarter than those that hire you.
  30. Be aware of your surroundings. As a woman, you want to make sure that you’re safe. Stay alert. Be aware. Carry mace. Learn how to use a gun. Operate on a buddy system.
  31. Communicate effectively. That means say what you mean and be a great listener.
  32. Set goals and achieve them.
  33. Be fair but BE SELFISH. Your time and love is valuable. You’re valuable. Learn how to be selfish and make them deal with it.

Here’s to 33!!

PPD? Oh Yeah, It Sucks

And now we’re here…

For the past few months, I’ve been hiding a secret from my loved ones until I had a serious meltdown back in January that ended up with me having several anxiety attacks then later on stuffing my face in a plate of comfort food that was brought to me by my amazing sistafriend, Eden.

PPD aka Postpartum Depression. Yes, I had that. And yes, I’m going to talk about it.

What is PPD? It’s a mood disorder following childbirth with both depression and anxiety. You’ll experience mood swings, anger, thoughts of suicide, lots of crying, sleep problems, etc.

What does it feel like? It feels scary and uncontrolled. It feels like no one understands you. It just feels bad.

It’s been going on since October. I had been fighting it and fighting it. But I lost last month, which gave me the courage to talk about it openly. My way of dealing with depression is to work it away. Just like Solange’s Cranes In The Sky, I tried to work it away. I tried to sex it away. I tried to dance it away. Shop it away. IT DID NOT WORK.

As a mother, suffering from PPD is the last thing you want. No mother wants to feel like you’re undeserving of your child. That’s how I felt. I felt like I didn’t deserve my family. I felt like scum obtained from the worst part of a NY Subway station. It wasn’t until I went through my breakdown then discussing it with the people I initially shut out, that I started to feel better.

For moms that are going through it now, it gets better. My advice is to talk to someone. Its not fully understood why it happens to some women and not others. But it’s very treatable. Seek help as quickly as possible. If you have a partner, get him or her involved. It’s easy to shut people out. That’s not something I suggest. Those who genuinely want to be there will be there. Let them into your world of PPD and talk about it with them. They need to know what’s going on.

Last but not least, don’t blame yourself. Accept that you have PPD. Do not hate yourself. Accept your feelings. Practice self care as often as possible. Understand that you’re going to heal and that it often takes time. Avoid negative people and negative situations.

February 1st .. A Dawn of a New Day

Today’s the start of a new month. I made a promise to myself that I would get back to writing on my blog.

January was the month of sadness for me, in which I will explain in another post. I turned the BIG 33 on the 29th of January. I can just smell 40 mixed with Bengay and Rolaids around the corner. As a mother, you go through the unimaginable. It’s hard to keep up with your personal life and the life of others.

The Blue Moon was last night. As I was engaging in my full moon ritual of clearing and cleansing my house and my personal life, I realized that sometimes, you have to take a step back from things. Maybe even walk away for a little while. Then, come back refreshed and anew. Release the old. Reel in the new.

My goals for this month:

  • write at least 2-3 posts a week.
  • listen to myself when my body is saying enough.
  • be MORE open to change.
  • read two books.
  • stop trying to be Supermom.
  • up my photography skills and take more pictures.
  • meditate more.
  • engage in more self-care activities.

I’m challenging myself more but within reason. I’m only human and I need to realize that.

Happy February Everyone!

Christmas Is Almost Here!

Have you finalized your shopping yet?

Or will you be a part of the Christmas rush?

Thanks to my lovely partner, I’ll be a part of the Christmas rush. This won’t happen again next year.

I’m wishing everyone a very, Merry Christmas. Or, if you do not celebrate, Happy Holidays to you and your family.

My goal for the weekend is to come up with blog posts for the following weeks. Maybe even do a vlog post. We will see.

Bye guys!


Looking Back On My Week

Our vacation ended last week. Sunday, we finally moved into the new house. It took forever, right? Daddy came down with friends to help us get everything moved. The trip back was the longest. Caroline had a blow out. She screamed until I pulled over and put her to sleep on the side of the road.

Getting unpacked was the fun part. It’s still partially going on.

As for Caroline, she’s trying to adjust. She screamed with Daddy for 45 minutes, two days in a row while I was showering and getting our things unpacked.

She doesn’t like being unattended yet. Because it’s foreign to her. I had to explain to Terrance that we should do things gradually with her to avoid stressing her out.

We’ve been here for almost a week. Both her and I are trying to adjust to this new, foreign life of ours.

Pray for us.